how to make a plugin secure, so any one if changes something in plugin, it just disables it self and notify us on server? [closed]

There’s no way to accomplish that.

Your plugin will be coded in php, which means that any part of it can be altered locally at any time. So even if you came up with an efficient way to check for modifications, your checking code would be a part of the plugin, thus just as easy to modify/bypass.

Also, as an aside, not too many people are fond of plugins that “phone home” without permission, WordPress.org guys least of all ;).