Alright so after waking up and actually thinking (lol) it was quite simple and I was way overthinking it.
In piotnet grid you can query a custom wp_query. I added this to the box
array(relationship => [
//the meta box relationship id
'id' => 'relationship-between-cpt1&cpt2',
'from' => get_the_ID(),
])
in the preview window on piotnet grid it will look broke but once you put it into a post it works just fine.