SQL – IF EXISTS UPDATE ELSE INSERT INTO

What I’m trying to do is INSERT subscribers in my database, but IF EXISTS it should UPDATE the row, ELSE INSERT INTO a new row.

Ofcourse I connect to the database first and GET the $name, $email and $birthday from the url string.

$con=mysqli_connect("localhost","---","---","---");
// Check connection
if (mysqli_connect_errno())
  {
  echo "Failed to connect to MySQL: " . mysqli_connect_error();
  }

$name=$_GET['name']; 
$email=$_GET['email'];
$birthday=$_GET['birthday'];

This works, but just adds the new row;

mysqli_query($con,"INSERT INTO subs (subs_name, subs_email, subs_birthday)
VALUES ('$name', '$email', '$birthday')");

mysqli_close($con);

Here’s what I tried;

mysqli_query($con,"INSERT INTO subs (subs_name, subs_email, subs_birthday)
VALUES '$name', '$email', '$birthday'
ON DUPLICATE KEY UPDATE subs_name = VALUES($name), subs_birthday = VALUES($birthday)");
mysqli_close($con);

and

mysqli_query($con,"IF EXISTS (SELECT * FROM subs WHERE subs_email='$email')
    UPDATE subs SET subs_name='$name', subs_birthday='$birthday' WHERE subs_email='$email'
ELSE
    INSERT INTO subs (subs_name, subs_email, subs_birthday) VALUES ('$name', '$email', '$birthday')");
mysqli_close($con);

and

mysqli_query($con,"IF NOT EXISTS(SELECT * FROM subs WHERE subs_email='$email')
Begin
INSERT INTO subs (subs_name, subs_email, subs_birthday)
VALUES ('$name', '$email', '$birthday')
End");
mysqli_close($con);

But none of them work, what am I doing wrong?

Any help is greatly appreciated!