jQuery: Performing synchronous AJAX requests

As you’re making a synchronous request, that should be

function getRemote() {
    return $.ajax({
        type: "GET",
        url: remote_url,
        async: false
    }).responseText;
}

Example – http://api.jquery.com/jQuery.ajax/#example-3

PLEASE NOTE: Setting async property to false is deprecated and in the process of being removed (link). Many browsers including Firefox and Chrome have already started to print a warning in the console if you use this:

Chrome:

Synchronous XMLHttpRequest on the main thread is deprecated because of its detrimental effects to the end user’s experience. For more help, check https://xhr.spec.whatwg.org/.

Firefox:

Synchronous XMLHttpRequest on the main thread is deprecated because of its detrimental effects to the end user’s experience. For more help http://xhr.spec.whatwg.org/