I think Twitter Tools offers most of what you ask.
Whenever you post something, you can choose if Twitter Tools should post it to twitter or not. As far as I know, you can’t tweet posts from a specific tag or category. But you do have control over which specific posts should be twitted.
Also, you have this “update tweets” thing, which I haven’t tried, but sounds like you can make it check for older posts which should be twitted and twit them.
You can also make it do an automatic post with a digest of your tweets. Hope this helps!
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