How do I acquire all the meta-information for a particular page I am on?

you can inspect $wp_query to see the query vars and returned data, including all of those conditionals:

<pre><?php print_r($wp_query); ?></pre>

Hata!: SQLSTATE[HY000] [1045] Access denied for user 'divattrend_liink'@'localhost' (using password: YES)