How do I update a WordPress wp_postmeta meta_value that contains many options

What you are trying to do is access a property inside a serialized object. Well, this cannot be down directly. The data you have are serialized that’s why updating with the _sfwd-courses_course_access_list will not work as this is only inside the meta_value of the entry.

You have to unserialize update and then save with update_post_meta function.