wp_enqueue_script called incorrectly

UGH.

I solved this. I’m an idiot. I had a file in my theme named admin.php that was setting up wp-admin handlers and the like for a portion of my application.

I was including this via include_once( 'admin.php' ) from its parent file, and apparently that was calling the main wp-core admin.php file. So yeah. Hours of debugging because I didn’t specify an absolute path. smh.