How to deal with spam comments and distinguish them from non-spam comments?

Delete them all. I don’t think a few comments are worth so much of your time.

To clean up the entire table, open a SQL console (the plugin Adminer has an UI for that) and type:

TRUNCATE table wp_comments

You might have to change the name if you are using an other prefix than wp_.

Or … you could use an existing anit-spam plugin with open source (Antispam Bee and/or T5 Spam Block for example) and run all your comments through their filters. In a secound round, find all IP addresses marked as spam already and delete all comments with matching IP addresses.

That should cover most of the spam.