Why is there no global function in wordpress to return the output of any function call?

In direct response to the question, WordPress does not include a function for this partly because it does not specifically apply to WordPress functionality. I.e. it’s a PHP (potential) problem, not WordPress.

Also, I wouldn’t say it’s WordPress’ responsibility to provide workarounds for plugins etc that don’t provide an function to return data (which is against the general WordPress style).

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