Create custom role, multisite, add users/sites?

According to the Codes on capabilities the manage_sites and manage_network_users should grant these options, or am I not reading correctly?

Apparently, the capabilities here are not enough. Check out wp-admin/network.php.
You’ll see it dies if the current user fails the is_super_admin check. This check gets the $super_admins global from get_super_admins and returns false if the current user is not in that array. It appears a user HAS to be added as a super admin via that option, not just via the appropriate capabilities. That option can be set by manually editing a user (there is a checkbox for it on the user edit screen), or by using the grant_super_admin function.

Regarding the admin bar showing what you want, check out wp-includes/admin-bar.php. You’ll see it also runs the is_super_admin check to determine the output of the Network Admin menu.